


it’s almost midnight but i think it’s time to eat some toast

by toastybagel-archive (ToastyBagel)



Series: 𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑠 ʙʏ 𝑇𝑜𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑦𝐵𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑙 [3]
Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: COVID, M/M, Quarantine, ahaha, also i’m a character in this, dont expect more chapters, i wrote this in like june of 2020, im only posting this bc i know i’m never gonna finish it, i’m going to hell for this, neither of them actually have covid, so just use ur imagination, there was going to be smut but i never wrote it, title has nothing to do with the fic, uwu, vincent’s just kind of not smart in this one, wear ur fucken masks kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:21:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28085376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToastyBagel/pseuds/toastybagel-archive
Summary: this is rlly cursed pls don’t read i’m just posting so it doesn’t sit alone in my google docs forever. at least it’s gonna get at least some action
Relationships: Phone Guy/Purple Guy (Five Nights at Freddy's)
Series: 𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑠 ʙʏ 𝑇𝑜𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑦𝐵𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑙 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1963147
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. 🍆I GOT QUARANTINED WITH VINCENT?!🍆{[NOT CLICKBAIT]}

“So can I move in with you or not? I’ll help with chores and such,” Vincent said, leaning against the doorframe.

“Why can’t you move in with Mike or Mr. Afton? You are related, after all,” Scott replied, fingertips tapping the side of the door.

“Well, Mike lives with his girlfriend now and I get the impression that my uncle William doesn’t like me. Couldn’t imagine why.” He ran a hand through his shiny, purple hair as he looked up at the ceiling for a bit before resting his gaze back on Scott.

“You’re sure there’s no one else?” Scott asked. Vincent nodded. “You have no other family or friends?” Vincent nodded again.

“None. All of our coworkers already have their hands tied. Well, all except you, of course...”

“You know, even if I were to believe you, why should I take you in? We can barely work together, let alone live together, and I haven’t forgotten about New Year’s Eve, by the way-” Scott had begun pacing within view of the doorframe when Vincent stopped him, pulling their chests together.

“Well, is that a yes or a no?” Vincent asked, his calm expression unchanging.

For a second, Scott looked as if he wanted to punch Vincent in the face. Shortly after, he averted his gaze away from Vincent’s, his expression shifting as he sighed.

“Fine. You can sleep on the couch. Now, let go of me.” Scott shoved Vincent back into the hallway of the apartment complex. “We should be six feet apart, anyway.”

“Ahh,” Vincent pretended to sigh longingly. “You haven’t changed, lovely.”

“Neither have you,” Scott muttered, turning to go back inside before abruptly stopping. “Could you wait a few minutes? It’s just kind of a mess, and-”

“I mean, I could help you if you want,” Vincent smirked, trying to peek past the entry hallway. Scott stepping in front of him didn’t help much, since Vincent was a foot taller, but Vincent couldn’t see much more than the edge of a coffee table. “Is that-” Vincent leaned over Scott’s shoulders, making sure that what he thought he saw was correct. “Is that a whiskey bottle?”

“Get- Go get your stuff and come back,” Scott stammered, waving his arms to shoo Vincent back outside. “Out. I’ll text you when you can come back.” Scott nearly slammed the door, eager to relish the last few minutes of his life that he wouldn’t have to spend living with Vincent.

Vincent backed away from the closed door, thinking aloud.

“I wonder what you’re hiding in there...” 

Stepping into his purple Pontiac, Vincent sped away from the parking lot.

Scott, however, had a depression den on his hands. Well, kind of. It’s really easy to forget about empty coffee mugs when you have to leave for work so early in the morning. Not to mention that Vincent was right about the whiskey bottle on the edge of the coffee table. There were, however, a couple items that did not belong to Scott that still wound up in his apartment, and he knew exactly who they were from.

“Hey, Mike?”

“What do you need?” Mike’s voice was slightly slurred as if he had just woken up.

“I found your hat and name tag. This pocketknife is probably yours, too. You must have left them here last week.”

Waiting for a response, Scott could faintly hear snoring from the other side of the phone.

“Mike, wake up.”

The only response Scott received was more snoring.

“Mike.”

Nothing.

“If you don’t wake up, I’m bringing them to your house myself.”

Scott wasn’t sure why he expected any more replies from Mike at this point.

Pressing the red button on his phone, Scott grabbed his most emo red flannel and strolled out the door with his car keys and wallet because forgetting those would be bad.

When he got to Mike’s house, Scott parked in the driveway before grabbing all of the stuff from the passenger seat, pushing the car door open.

When he got to Mike’s doorstep, he gently pressed the doorbell and waited.

A few seconds soon turned into about three minutes of waiting with no sign of anyone inside, probably because it was 6:00 in the evening, meaning Doll was at work and Mike was sleeping in preparation for the night shift.

You see, since the recent coronavirus outbreak, the pizzeria has been limited to the store manager- Scott- and two security guards, Mike and Jack. (You know, the orange dude from DSaF.) The company was making enough money from other forms of marketing, such as TV cartoons and one of those super creepy kids YouTube channels, that the restaurants weren’t needed to stay open for the business to stay afloat.

So, yeah, as you’ve probably figured out, Vincent was fired due to rarely showing up to nighttime security shifts in the first place and the whole pizzeria needing to downsize.

While I’ve been explaining this to you, dear readers, Scott has been continuously ringing the doorbell, trying to wake Mike up.

Eventually, the door clicked open.

“What do you want,” Mike yawned, stepping into view as the door swung open.

“I have your stuff.” Scott held out an upside-down uniform hat with the name tag and pocketknife inside.

“What stuff?”

“The stuff you left at my house. I called you and said I would bring it... Were you-”

“Yeah, I’ve been known to answer texts and calls in my sleep.” Mike sleepily gave a cocky nod to the side, slightly stumbling.

“Hmm,” Scott thought aloud, “that’s strange. It honestly sounds like a trait better suited to me than to you.”

Yeah, ToastyBabyBitch here didn’t really think this through.

“Thanks for bringing my shit,” Mike took the hat, giving a lazy finger gun. He was about to close the door before Scott stopped him.

“Wait- I have something to ask you.” 

“But I’m tiredddddddd,” Mike groaned, swinging the door back open.

“Can you tell me what Vincent likes to eat?”

“I dunno, can I?”

“MAY you tell me- wait, that isn’t right...” Scott faced the concrete, furrowing his brows until he realized what he meant to say, nodded to a rock on the ground, and looked back up at Mike. “Will you tell me what Vincent likes to eat?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve got no fucken clue. I’m going to bed, g’night.”

With that, the door clicked closed and Mike was asleep again.

“Rude,” Scott mumbled, getting back into his car to head to the grocery store.

You see, what ToastyBagel™️ neglected to explain earlier was that, in her personal headcanon, Scott had the most bland and boring taste in food imaginable. Plain spaghetti noodles with nothing on them? A bop. Dinosaur chicken nuggets? Impeccable. Vanilla ice cream? SLAPS. He doesn’t have boring taste in food, he has wonderful taste in food, but a lot of ppl seem to disagree so let’s not fight in the comments mkay?

The only food item Scott had good taste in was coffee, but that’s just a theory.

A GAME THE-

So, not knowing if Vincent would join him in indulging in kids menu classics, Scott set off for the nonspecific grocery store in the town in which they live.

Pulling a mask over his nose and mouth, as should be done in these trying times to prevent the spread of disease, Scott dialed Vincent’s number before entering the grocery store. 

“Are you ready for me to come back?” Vincent’s very british voice rang through the phone.

“No. I’m at the store to get some food. Whaddaya want?”

“Bread.”

“Is that it?”

“You have a toaster, right?”

“Yeah....”

“Just bread.”

“I don’t have anything to put on the bre-”

“Just bread.”

“Ohhhhkay then. What kind of bread?”

“The bread kind.”

“That’s not-”

“Bread.”

“You know what? I’ll just get-”

“Bread.”

“-some plain-ass wonder bread.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Aight, see you later.”

“See ya~” 

After Vincent’s last reply, Scott hung up the phone, pulling two loaves of bread off of a shelf.

Once he was done shopping, he stepped up to the register, behind which was a lady about his height with long, blonde hair. Her hazel eyes sparkled under the fluorescent lights, her strawberry lip gloss almost blinding. In other words, she looked like the type of gal to write purplephone fanfics at three in the morning. She was also wearing a mask because it’s a good thing to do.

“Hello welcome to MacDonald may I take your order,” she said, not looking up from her copy of Les Misérables. 

“This is a grocery store?” Scott stated as a question.

“Oh, so it is.” She scanned and bagged each item. “Okay cool thank you for shopping see you next time.”

“Wait- don’t I have to pay?” he asked.

“It’s on the house. Only the best for the main character.”

“The- I’m the what-”

“Can we get the next customer down here? Thank you!”

Scott stopped out of the grocery store, tossing the grocery bags in the backseat of his car.

While driving home, he pondered the numerous ways he could stall to make his time without Vincent just a little longer. Of course, he could put the groceries away, but that wouldn’t take long. He could deep clean every single inch of the apartment, but that would be a lot of work. He could just vacuum.

Yes, that was what he was going to do.

After putting the groceries in the cupboards and fridge, he pulled the vacuum out of the closet.

“vvvveeeEEEEOMMMMM” said the vacuum, which is vacuum language for “I’m gay.” You know, since it just came out of the closet. I really need to shut up and get on with the story.

Every floor in the apartment was vacuumed twice, and only thirty minutes had been spent since Scott returned from the grocery store.

He, then, put the vacuum back into the closet and searched for any imperfection in the layout of his apartment that he could find. There was one picture frame that he must have tilted a million times to get as straight as possible. He perfectly centered the fishbowl on its table. He changed three lightbulbs that were getting dim. After about the fifth time rearranging a shelf of bottles on display, Scott decided that he had been stalling for too long and that he should probably invite Vincent back to his apartment before it gets too dark outside.

“Hey, are you ready for me to come over now?” Vincent asked over the phone.

“Yeah. The door’s unlocked.”

“Neat. I’m already in the parking lot.”

“Oh, okay.”

Scott hung up the phone, deciding to not ask Vincent how long he had been in the parking lot.

The apartment door swung open, hitting the little spring door stopper thing on the wall.

“Wow, this floor is really clean,” Vincent mentioned, shutting the apartment door behind him.

“Thanks, I vacuumed it.”

“So...where should I put clothes...” Vincent mumbled, half to himself and half to Scott, who had just realized he could have stalled for more time by cleaning out a closet.

“I don’t have an empty closet right now, but I can take the stuff out of that one.” He pointed to the closet with the vacuum in it. “For now, put stuff wherever. I only have one bathroom, too, by the way.”

“Guess that means we’ll have to shower together~”

“No.”

“It was worth a shot.” Vincent shrugged before pulling a large suitcase beside the couch. “Well,” Vincent continued.

“Well what?”

Vincent strolled toward a shelf on the other side of the room.

“I thought you told me you didn’t drink.”

“I don’t. Those are for decoration.”

“Then why is this one half empty~”

“Well- Just not in public.”

“Good thing we’re not in public-”

“Not happening.”

“Aren’t we going to have any fun?” Vincent whined, leaning against the arm of the couch.

“In case you’ve forgotten, I still have to work, so I can’t be here all day.”

“Yeah...about that...”

“Please don’t tell me you were exposed to the virus,” Scott said, making eye contact with Vincent as he nervously wrung his hands.

“Okay, then I won’t.”

Scott leaned into the wall behind him, gazing at the tiddy light on his ceiling as he sighed.

“So, now we both have to quarantine,” Scott muttered, crossing his arms.

“Yep, that’s basically how it goes. If we’re still healthy by the end of this week, you should be able to go back to work, though, so it definitely could be worse.”

Scott glanced at Vincent, then at the ground, then at the clock on the wall, then back at the ceiling again.

“I think I might go to bed. I’ll get some blankets for you. How many pillows do you want?”

“Uhh, one?” Vincent answered questioningly, not at all understanding why anyone would sleep with more than one pillow. “It’s only eight o’clock.”

“You can stay up as long as you want, but I’m tired. Besides, I have to get up early tomorrow morning to call your uncle and tell him that you exposed me to a deadly virus.”

“Might have exposed you to a deadly virus,” Vincent corrected. Scott rolled his eyes, pulling a pillow out of the linen closet and tossing it to Vincent. Two blankets soon followed.

“The TV remote is on the coffee table; watch whatever you want, just not too loud. Don’t piss off the neighbors; they both have dogs that  _ will _ bark at you. If you need anything, I’ll be in there-” Scott pointed to a door in the hallway just off the living room. “-but knock first and don’t go in, got it?”

“Will all of that be on the test?”

“Goodnight, Vincent.” Scott opened the bedroom door, quickly shutting it behind him and leaving Vincent alone in the living room.

A few hours passed.


	2. Night 1 - 12:00 AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vincent and scott play minecraft
> 
> (also yeah the rest of the story was supposed to be the rest of the nights and stuff but i only wrote night 1 and a few paragraphs of night 2 so shut up)
> 
> this is the end of what i actually finished of this fic. i hope u thoroughly enjoyed it, especially toasthater. i hope u liked it most of all.

“This is all your fault!” Scott cried, sharply turning toward Vincent, who was laughing his purple ass off.

“You shouldn’t have left, idiot,” Vincent replied, smirking between snickers.

“That’s no reason to blow up my house! At least I didn’t leave any diamonds in there...”

They had been playing Minecraft for the past hour.

Scott couldn’t sleep and Vincent, well, Vincent was Vincent.

_ “Anything to spend time with you, lovely~” Vincent flirted, attempting to seductively lay across the couch. Instead of appearing sexy, he just ended up looking like a floppy starfish. _

_ “You know what? Maybe I can sleep after all-” _

_ “No- NO, come back! We can play Minecraft!” _

And play Minecraft they did.

Scott stole Vincent’s crops, so Vincent filled Scott’s house with TNT. Unnecessary? Yes. Petty? Considerably. There’s no way I can redeem Vincent’s actions. He’s just really competitive.

“I have a very nice house that you’re welcome to stay in. You’ll just have to pay rent.”

“Vincent, if I have to live with you in real life, there’s no way I’m living with you in Minecraft.”

“Suit yourself. I was going to give you one of my horses, too...”

“The one you stole from me?”

“That’s the one!”

“I’d steal it back if you weren’t standing in front of your house, ready to slaughter me,” Scott replied, glancing at Vincent in between clearing a new patch of land for a new house.

“I guess that’s why they call me the man behind the slaughter,” Vincent chuckled darkly. “By the way, I sent my wolves after your sheep.”

“Why my sheep? What did they ever do to you?”

“You took all of my wheat!”

“There are literally seeds everywhere! I can’t just find two other sheep in the desert!” Scott paused, adding an iron door to his new house. “Perfect.”

“Scott, that’s the ugliest house I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re one to talk. Your house is a dome of leaves.”

“It’s experimental architecture! Haven’t you ever heard of modern art?”

“It’s not practical-”

“You literally used acacia wood-”

“Anything could destroy it-”

“Bright fucking orange-”

“You can literally see through it-”

And, as they fought, the calming hum of Minecraft music accompanied their argument.

Soon after, Vincent enderpearled his way over to Scott’s new house for their final battle.

“You best surrender now, phoney, or I’m throwing hands.”

“Try me, aubergine.”

“Get out here so we can fight.”

“Bite me- wait-”

“Gladly~”

“No- no, no, no, No, NO!”

********************

“Got any threes?”

“Vincent, we’re playing Uno.”

“That doesn’t tell me how many threes you have.”

Scott laid a wild draw four card on the table.

“The color’s blue.”

Vincent placed a blue three card onto the pile.

“You know,” Scott continued, “maybe we should have played Monopoly.”

“Maybe, but this is a lot more fun. Got any greens?”

“Why are you asking me what my cards are?”

“To piss you off,” Vincent smirked. Scott rolled his eyes, throwing another blue card atop the stack. “What?” Vincent continued. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

“I’m not cute-”

“You’re bloody adorable.” Vincent threw a green three card onto the stack. “Why do you think I’m always annoying you?”

“Because you’re unhealthily obsessed with me-”

“Exactly!”

“I’m changing the color to red.” Scott added a wild card to the top of the pile.

“Do you have any reds?”

“What do you think?” Scott asked rhetorically.

“Who knows, you could just be bluffing...” Vincent added a red draw two card to the pile.

Scott placed another draw two card on top of it.

They both continued until one of them was to be left with the misfortune of drawing sixteen cards.

That person just so happened to be Vincent.

“Can we just call it a tie and go to sleep? I’m tired...” Scott yawned while watching Vincent count sixteen cards from the draw pile. “This game’s more fun with more than two people, anyway.”

“What, would you rather play BS?” Vincent joked, fanning out all of his cards. “It is kind of lame with only two people, though.”

“How are you not tired?” Scott placed his cards face-down on the coffee table, leaning back into the couch cushions.

“I don’t know, I just don’t get tired easily. I never have.” Vincent paused for a second before his eyes lit up. He turned toward Scott, leaning in closer. “I just got an idea.”

“Is your idea for us to go to sleep?”

“We should play never have I ever!”

“Vince, we’re not in middle school,” Scott slightly slurred, blinking slowly.

“No, we’re not, but that’s what makes it more fun to play now~”

“What am I supposed to say, never have I ever committed tax fraud?” Scott watched Vincent hold up a hand, lowering a single purple finger. “Vincent! You-”

“Okay, okay, my turn. Never have I ever...had a one night stand~”

Scott looked away, slowly lowering a finger until he turned back to Vincent, realizing that he, too, had put down a finger.

“But- wait- you can’t-”

“It’s not against the rules if I put a finger down. I just want to see what you’ve done.”

“I don’t think I like this game.”

“Well, here, you ask a question, then.”

“Okay, okay,” Scott shifted so that he was no longer laying against the side of the couch. “Never have I ever stolen anything over twenty dollars.” Scott tensed up as Vincent put another finger down.

“It was a group effort, really. Are you implying you’ve stolen something less than twenty dollars?”

“Maybe...”

“Eh, I won’t judge you for that. Let’s see... Never have I ever done it with a girl,” Vincent said, lowering his whole hand. That wasn’t why he was playing, anyway. 

“Oh, okay...” Scott stared tiredly at Vincent, not moving any fingers.

“Aren’t you going to put one down? You said earlier-” Vincent abruptly stopped, glanced around the room, then dramatically gasped as his eyes met Scott’s. “Scott! Are you gay?!” Vincent faked a shocked expression, a hand on his chest.

“Uhh, yeah...”

“And you didn’t tell me?!”

“I didn’t really think it was that important. Besides, I didn’t know how you’d react.” Scott shrugged, shifting his gaze to the coffee table.

“I mean, to be honest, it was kind of obvious. Even right now, you can’t sit in a chair correctly. I just wasn’t going to make any assumptions... Does that mean I have a chance?” 

“No. You don’t know, I could be in a relationship right now.”

“Well, considering that you wouldn’t let me in here earlier because of how cluttered it was, I’d say you’re pretty single.”

“Single or not, I wouldn’t date you if you were the last person on earth.”

“Love, if I was the last person on earth, you’d be dead.”

“Whatever. Monopoly?” Scott asked, swinging his legs off of the couch.

“Monopoly.”

*******************

They didn’t actually end up playing Monopoly for very long.

Turns out, since Scott had experience in managing a business, he had an unfair advantage over Vincent. Who would have known, am I right?

“Give me five thousand dollars for my five get out of jail free cards.”

“No way.”

“Do it.”

“Is that a threat?”

“I will take that bottle of wine off of the wall and pour it on your carpet.”

“This carpet’s red. That’s also white wine.”

Vincent wasn’t colorblind, he just wasn’t very observant.

“Tweet tweet chirp chirp, fuckers,” said an unknown voice.

“Scott, I sure hope that voice was you...” Vincent quickly glanced across the living room of the apartment before his eyes landed on the window, where a bird was hopping across the windowsill.

“There couldn’t be birds tweeting already, right?” Scott sat up- he was laying on the ground while playing monopoly- and looked at the window. The sun hadn’t risen yet but, sure enough, the birds were tweeting.

“Holy shit, my notifications are blowing up with tweets now,” Vincent noted. “By the way, it’s six in the morning.”

“How could I have pulled an all-nighter with you? The last time I checked the clock, it was-”

“For the record, we did spend a lot of time playing Minecraft.”

Scott sighed, putting his face in his hands.

“I can’t believe this... I’m so tired...”

“Hey-” Vincent chimed in, Scott glancing up at him in reply. “Remember to wash your hands after touching your face.”

“What is this, a coronavirus safety PSA?”

“Well, kind of,” said a very loud and echoey voice from beyond the fourth wall. That’s me. I’m the loud and echoey voice.

“Okay,” Scott continued, not paying any mind to the disembodied voice of ToastyBagel. “We can’t do this again, though. Even though we’re quarantined, I still need to sleep.”

“I’ll take that as a challenge.”

“Okay, bet, bitch.”

“You’re going to be...” Vincent walked over to the cabinet in which all of the board games were stored, pulling out one specific box and holding it out. “sorry...”

The game he pulled out of the cabinet was Sorry. You know, the board game? You get it, you get the joke. I’ll just- time for the next chapter.


End file.
